I have recently had quite a time trying to get people to listen to me. Even after saying the same thing several times, it just feels like...it feels like shooting at clouds. You can see the target. It's there. But then you release your arrow (ie. suggestion/ advice/ proposal) and it just shoots right through. It's like nothing happened. Not taken seriously. So is there a solution to this? Does Dale Carnegie have any advice for us in his ever-famous "How to Win Friends and Influence People?" Or would people say that trying to use some kind of psychology to get what you want is manipulating people? I've tried everything. I've tried to say it calmly. I've tried saying it several times. And as I have two certificates and over fifteen years of experience in this particular field, I feel that I'm entitled to an opinion and entitled to be listened to. While still remaining a little vague on the matter, I will ask if you've ever experienced this? Knowing what you're talking about, but being shot down by someone who either just doesn't care or who is confident and secure in the way things are already going. I'm sure you have, at least some point in your life.
There are all kinds of people in this world and we have to learn how to work with all of them. But there can also be a huge learning curve. I mean, really huge. How to we learn to work with those who are uncooperative? What about those who seem to be willing to co-operate, but do something totally opposite of what you meant? Well, there's no simple answer. The answer is, in fact, possibly just as complicated as the person you're dealing with. But don't fret! There is something we can do: re-focus.
We don't have to live in their world. Start up a big project and get so deep in it that it takes all of our imagination, our effort, our energy. Watch it grow and let it inspire us! Then when we're dealing with that person- when we have to talk to them or work on something together- it will will just be a secondary thing, not our primary focus, and certainly not the thing that sucks all of the brightness out of us. We cannot simply ignore people. And we sometimes have to do things with other people. But if they are not willing to take us seriously, it is not worth it for us to use up all of our energy trying to convince them of something we value. I definitely value people. At the same time, I value myself- my health and my future.
The greater role in life is to serve; but when we serve a nice, pure, natural, healthy cup of authentic ground coffee and the other person throws it back at us and says "I was fine drinking my three Red Bull a day! Why'd you try to change my drink?", then it's time to move on. There is no doubt that "Bull" is the key word there. People will continue to do things that are damaging to their bodies or to people around them regardless of what information (facts, research, advice from experts or experienced professionals) we provide them.
We cannot stop a person from eating instant ramen every day or from eating food infested with salt or sugar, or from drinking diet drinks because they're "healthier" or from smoking or from building hundreds of factories in the name of "progress." What we can do is the things that we can do- our own projects, things that matter and have meaning to us, things we think would make a positive change. Not everyone will be into it. But if we reach out, if we extend our reach beyond that one wall- that one person standing in our way- we might just find someone on the other end reaching for that cup of pure ground coffee, saying "Thank you so much! This is great! I feel much better now than when I was drinking that liquid garbage."
There are all kinds of people in this world and we have to learn how to work with all of them. But there can also be a huge learning curve. I mean, really huge. How to we learn to work with those who are uncooperative? What about those who seem to be willing to co-operate, but do something totally opposite of what you meant? Well, there's no simple answer. The answer is, in fact, possibly just as complicated as the person you're dealing with. But don't fret! There is something we can do: re-focus.
We don't have to live in their world. Start up a big project and get so deep in it that it takes all of our imagination, our effort, our energy. Watch it grow and let it inspire us! Then when we're dealing with that person- when we have to talk to them or work on something together- it will will just be a secondary thing, not our primary focus, and certainly not the thing that sucks all of the brightness out of us. We cannot simply ignore people. And we sometimes have to do things with other people. But if they are not willing to take us seriously, it is not worth it for us to use up all of our energy trying to convince them of something we value. I definitely value people. At the same time, I value myself- my health and my future.
The greater role in life is to serve; but when we serve a nice, pure, natural, healthy cup of authentic ground coffee and the other person throws it back at us and says "I was fine drinking my three Red Bull a day! Why'd you try to change my drink?", then it's time to move on. There is no doubt that "Bull" is the key word there. People will continue to do things that are damaging to their bodies or to people around them regardless of what information (facts, research, advice from experts or experienced professionals) we provide them.
We cannot stop a person from eating instant ramen every day or from eating food infested with salt or sugar, or from drinking diet drinks because they're "healthier" or from smoking or from building hundreds of factories in the name of "progress." What we can do is the things that we can do- our own projects, things that matter and have meaning to us, things we think would make a positive change. Not everyone will be into it. But if we reach out, if we extend our reach beyond that one wall- that one person standing in our way- we might just find someone on the other end reaching for that cup of pure ground coffee, saying "Thank you so much! This is great! I feel much better now than when I was drinking that liquid garbage."
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| It's getting clear. Simply bizarre and bizarrely simple! |
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